If Nobody Encourages You-Encourage Yourself

Hello There

I am sorry, I have bothered you again. I am sorry, kindly forgive me. However, please also understand that there is no way to connect with you due to the distance between us, except through this medium. So please, don't go away, stay with me, let us read through this together, love.

I am sharing this message with you not because I am a distant writer but because I am someone who has lived that quiet ache of feeling unsupported. There were days in my own life when all I wished for was someone coming forward to say to me, Hey, just keep going, you are doing well. But guess what, that never came. I came to learn that living doesn't always need encouragement from people, and you shouldn't find yourself stuck in wanting it. Because when you continue to do, the silence will become louder than the words you even hoped to hear. It is quite painful sometimes; you just have to accept it.

It took me years to come to understand one simple truth, and that is, ''If nobody encourages you, you must learn to encourage yourself." That has been something I will call a skill, and that skill has carried me further in life than anyone's validation ever could. 

Days That Felt Like World, I am Tired of You

No one ever told us life would be simple. It is never. There are days when the world feels unbearably heavy. There are days when, after all the sleep, you still feel exhausted. There are days you feel like you're lifting a stone with them after all the rest. Today, you might have felt that way, but for me, I have lived through mornings like that; those were the times I'd say to myself, "World, I am tired of you. I am tired of carrying so much of your pain".

These are the days when nothing you do feels enough. Not even the sunlight, nor the words of others, let alone your own efforts.  You move through the hours like someone wading through thick water — not drowning, but not exactly swimming either. And the hardest part is how best you have tried, but your efforts feel like they yielded nothing. You can be surrounded by people who love you and still feel like no one truly sees how tired your soul is.

Don't be mistaken, there is a gentle truth to it. Feeling weary doesn’t mean you’re weak. Feeling tired of the world means you’ve been fighting in silence for far too long. And that is the time to even fight harder, because at the end of the day, it is going to be you against you.

Why Are Encouragement From Others Are Important To?

As humans, we are wired to respond to positive reinforcement. Don't doubt me, because research from the American Psychological Association shows how supportive words increase motivation, confidence, and even our physical performance. Assume that you were running a race, and you have your family cheering you on with so much love from the sidelines. I bet you would unravel the Superman strength inside of you to win that race.

But here is what you should note: as comforting as encouragement from others is, relying totally on it can be dangerous. This is because:

• People are busy fighting their own battles, the same way you do.
• Some just don't know how to express support, and you do not have to blame them for it.
• Others will admire you silently but will never tell you.
• And sometimes, the people you hoped for encouragement from are the very ones who doubt you

Put Others Aside: What It Really Means to Encourage Yourself

 Many people, as I have come to know, have the habit of confusing self-encouragement with toxic positivity. Hear me out: It is not about pretending that everything is fine. 

I define self-encouragement as the practice to keep reminding yourself of the strength you have, the journey throughout life, and your capacity to grow and overcome, especially in instances where life is testing you.

This includes a few things you do like:

1. Speaking kindly to yourself.
2. Acknowledging the progress you are making in life.
3. Allow yourself to rest without feeling guilty about it. 
4. Standing firm in your values and identity.

Let's Get In Here With Some Steps to Encourage Yourself

1. Try to validate your own efforts

You do not always need someone else to note your hard work for it to matter. Sometimes you just have to praise yourself if no one else is doing. Just tell yourself:

• I know I am doing the best I can.
• Every effort of mine counts.
• I am proud of myself for trying in the first place.

2. Talk to yourself with the same kindness you offer others.

I know people who have criticized themselves harsher than they would ever criticize a friend. You do not need to join that batch; say words that will keep you moving on and on. I am sure that if a friend of yours feels lost, you wouldn't tell them, "You always fail." Probably, you will tell that friend to take his or her time and get through that moment. Kindly do the same thing to yourself.

3. Do not forsake the small achievements you've had.

I know you have been through hard times before, and you gradually won. It is the same here, too. Keep the records of the wins you have made in your life to serve as encouraging experiences for yourself. 

4. Be the king or queen of your own emotions.

Being a king or queen of your own emotions is not a sign that you are being arrogant or you are isolating yourself; it simply means that you are doing the things below.

• Trusting the choices you are making for yourself.
• Believing in your own abilities and passion.
• Not needing people around you to always tell you, You did well, congratulations.
• It is also getting to know that your worth and value are not determined by applause from people. 

You know what, when you reach this level, you actually become unshakeable because that is where I am now.

What You Can Do When Life Feels Heavy and You Feel Alone.

Even the strongest people experience days when everything feels too heavy. If you happen to find yourself feeling like that on some days, do the following:

• Lower your expectations and keep your mind on survival, because that matters and is enough.
• Talk to yourself and encouragement yourself. Being soft does not mean that you are weak.
• Give yourself some rest if you are exhausted.

Always have this in mind, my dearest gentle reader: you have survived every difficult day before today. That should even be proof that you are stronger than you think.

Mistakes to Avoid When Encouraging Yourself

• Do not compare your walk in life to that of others.
• Do not push yourself to the limit; take a step back and relax.
• Do not wait for someone to come and motivate you before beginning to take action.
• Do not pretend everything is fine. Cry if you can, talk to someone you trust. Listen to some music that makes you feel good.

A Goodbye and Thank You Message.

If you have gotten this far, I hope one day we can meet and talk over tea. I hope we can email each other and talk about our long walks in life. Just know that you must encourage yourself if there is no one to. Your worth is not going to decrease because someone failed to acknowledge it. In that small world where you find yourself, just be there for yourself. Thank you for having you here, sweetheart. Hope to see you again shortly. 

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