The Fact
When I was young in my teens, I saw life to be a competition. I scroll through social media, see someone at my age buying a car and getting married. Seen my colleagues start their own business, and then I suddenly feel like I am lagging behind. The very truth is, I am not the only one who has had these kinds of thoughts or feelings; a lot of people have.
Yes, the honest truth is that we have all been there, and it is a sting of comparison that sneaks in when we least expect it to be so. Some years back, I remember walking to my mum. Mum, why is everything moving so slowly for me? I asked her. She replied and said, "It is not the bus that sets off for the market that makes it to the market first. Other buses will overtake the other on the road. What was she trying to tell me? To learn to be patient.
To tell you the truth, you are not behind. Your path is just a different one, and the more you learn to embrace that path, the more peaceful and purposeful your life becomes.
The Trap of Constant Comparison
We live in a world where everyone's success story could be a tap away. You visit social media: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and there it is, someone celebrating a new job, a new achievement, someone traveling and showing you around the world, your classmate building a business, and that is where it sets in. Your mind starts running a race that you never signed up for.
I sometimes tell my friends that comparison is just a thief of joy, and more than that, it is also a distraction. Comparison will take your eyes off your own growth and glue it to someone's progress. But there is the thing that you ignore. You fail to see the struggles that were behind their wins, the late nights of thinking, the hard work they had to do, the doubts they had about themselves, and the moment of failure they had to experience. That is why you sit there comparing their highlights and not behind their scenes. That to me is not fair. Not to them, and definitely not to you, also.
Everyone's Timing Is Different
I watched a YouTube video where a YouTuber (The Headless YouTuber and Wodemaya) was sharing how they began their success stories. It is inspiring because you wouldn't have expected them to get that far with a little start. Headless started on his YouTube channel at age 31 and within four years became a popular figure and successful man who is financially stable, but still is someone who remains simple and calm.
This is to tell us that there is no universal timeline for success. Some people bloom early while others take a little longer, and that, to me, is completely fine. If you have ever heard of the man who started KFC, you will understand what I am saying. Look here, Morgan Freeman didn't get his first major acting role until his 50s. Vera Wang designed her first wedding dress at 40. Even Colonel Sanders started KFC in his 60s. So just imagine if they had given up just because someone else “made it” earlier.
Everyone's success is just a matter of time. It is coming at its own pace, one that is right for you. You do not need to rush to catch up with anyone else. All you need to do is keep moving and taking one small step at a time.
Focus On Your Lane
Think of your life like you were driving. When you keep looking into other lanes while driving, what happens? You risk losing control of your own car. Such is life also. You need to focus on your lane to reach your own destination.
Ask yourself: What truly matters to me?
What matters to you is not what is on social media, not what others expect of you or think about you. What matters to you truly is what your story is about. Maybe your purpose is building something slowly and meaningfully instead of chasing after quick wins.
The moment you start thinking and focusing on your lane, you do not compare yourself to others but rather start to live your own story. This is something I did myself, and it has helped me, so you can do the same.
Limit Triggers That Make You Compare Yourself to Others
If certain things trigger you to compare yourself to other people and make you feel like you are not worth it, then you have to limit them. You don't have to follow every influencer or keep tracking your classmate who seems ahead of you. Follow creators who share real-life struggles and experiences to inspire yourself to do more.
Learn from Others, Don't Compete
Everyone has their story to tell, and yours is still being written. Maybe where you find yourself now feels slow, uncertain, and very messy, but again, that is okay. Some of the best stories take time to complete. So what must you do? Use the stories of other people as motivation to keep yourself going and not as an opportunity to compete with them. Ask yourself: how did this person do it, and not why am I not there yet?
Living Your Own Story
You start enjoying life as it is the moment you stop comparing yourself to others. When I stopped comparing myself to others, I realized I started appreciating my own pace. The truth is, nobody can live your story better than you. You are the author of your own story and not the supporting character in someone else's book.
So, instead of asking yourself always, "Why not me? Start asking yourself, "What is meant for me?".
Final Words
What I want to let you know finally is that comparing yourself to other people doesn't benefit you in any way but rather grows within you hate and delays in life, as you are not able to focus on your goals but rather end up competing with others.
